How Jesus is with us.

I attend a very special cancer support group where cancer patients are newly diagnosed with breast cancer, and it’s a profound experience. I am a survivor and probably never truly dealt with all the intricate emotions that come with having cancer. You see, I was kind of like the poster lady for breast cancer in my community, representing hope and resilience. I was the head of our local breast cancer fundraiser and also worked for a radiation oncology center. My very dear friend, Donna, had just passed away from breast cancer, and she was both an inspiration to me in how she faced the challenges of this disease and an absolute joy with her funny, quirky mannerisms that she maintained right up until her dying day.

Anyway, back to the cancer group. Being in the room after so many years of being totally removed from the medical field and the terminology of treatment is challenging for me, but I’m grateful for the connection. I love these ladies and genuinely want to help them in whatever way I can. I remember vividly, as if it were just yesterday, the overwhelming feelings I experienced while undergoing treatment. The anxious feelings, the nausea that seemed endless, the metallic taste, the extreme tiredness, and that deep desire to be alone in bed, just lying there with Jesus. I spent countless hours in bed praying and talking to Him, and I could literally feel His presence right there with me. During this past week, I realized that I can genuinely empathize with these ladies because I have experienced this difficult journey myself. I am realizing how Jesus is with us during the tough times, especially those grueling months of cancer treatment. Jesus knows exactly how you are feeling; He understands every ache, every anxious thought, and all the emotional turmoil you are grappling with. Then, I take a panoramic view of my life, and I can see how far Jesus has brought me through the ordeal. Now, I don’t believe He gave me cancer as a lesson, but rather, He used the experience of battling cancer to mold and deepen my relationship with Him. Before cancer, I was trying to do it all—caring for five teenagers, managing so many relationships, and living for who I thought I was supposed to be. Now that I look back, I see I was a nervous wreck, trying to please everyone else and neglecting to take care of myself in the process.

We are not granted the ability to see the future, as that is God’s special time for us to understand the unique path laid out for each and every one of us. However, I can tell you that during those long, challenging days and many years of my life after experiencing my cancer diagnosis, I sometimes struggled mightily to see any clear purpose in the trials I was facing, and I felt overwhelmingly sad for all that I had lost along the way. Yet now, through it all, I can honestly say that I found a deep sense of peace, joy, and love within myself. I live almost everyday in a state of peace, take care of myself with nurturing attention, and find incredible strength as I remain beautifully grounded in my faith and the amazing love of Jesus that continually surrounds me.

Believe in the process, ladies, for Jesus will guide you through the storm and help you emerge as a stronger, more unique version of yourself.